When researchers ask co-parents how much they lose annually by not pursuing legitimate expense reimbursements, the typical answer is a shrug. 'Not that much.' 'Maybe a couple hundred.' When they actually add it up, the real number almost always surprises them. Our internal data and user research consistently point to a figure of $500 or more per year — money that was legally owed and never collected.
The $500 number broken down
- —$180 medical co-pay: the most commonly cited single abandoned expense. High enough to sting, low enough to feel not worth an argument.
- —$90 school supplies: filed a request, got no response, dropped it after two follow-ups.
- —$120 extracurricular registration: co-parent claimed they 'didn't agree' to the activity — no documentation to counter the claim.
- —$60 prescription: too small to escalate, so absorbed.
- —$50 miscellaneous: a dozen small expenses never formally requested.
Why co-parents give up
Pursuing a $90 reimbursement through text messages — where your co-parent can read and ignore with impunity — often feels more costly than the money itself. The emotional labour of chasing, the anxiety of confrontation, the time spent and the resentment it generates. The calculus tips toward absorbing the loss. This isn't weakness. It's rational given the tools available.
The compounding problem
The hidden cost isn't just the lost money in isolation. When co-parents routinely absorb legitimate expenses, several things happen over time: resentment accumulates and affects every interaction, the co-parent who doesn't pay learns there are no consequences for non-payment, and the documenting parent eventually stops submitting requests entirely — at which point documentation disappears from the record entirely.
The system problem vs. the personal problem
This is almost never a personal failing. Parents who lose money on shared expenses aren't bad at finances or conflict — they're using tools that aren't designed for the task. WhatsApp, Venmo, and spreadsheets weren't built to create accountable, documented, legally-credible expense requests. They're general communication and payment tools adapted to a specific problem they were never designed to solve.
What changes when requests are formal and documented
FairSplit users report a sharp decline in ignored requests within the first month. When a co-parent receives a professional SMS link with a receipt photo, a split calculation, a payment option, and a visible record that the request was delivered and opened — the dynamics change. The request is no longer a personal ask between two people with a complicated history. It's a documented transaction with an audit trail. Non-response has a cost.
The math over three years
$500/year over a typical 3-year period where shared expenses are highest (ages 5-12) is $1,500. Over the full 18-year period of child-related expenses, even at a conservative $300/year average, that's $5,400 in legitimate expenses absorbed. FairSplit Pro at $9.99/month is $119.88/year. The ROI of recovering even half the typical shortfall is substantial.